She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
