.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
