I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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