i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
