There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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