i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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