You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
