I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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