her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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