But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
