he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
