THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
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I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
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We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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