We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
