I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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