So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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