When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
