ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
