So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
