Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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