if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
