The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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