There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
