Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
