I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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