Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
