Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
