can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
