was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
