At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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