I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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