i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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