I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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