You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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