TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
