I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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