Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
40s are totally the cure
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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