You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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