He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
