He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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