when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
