she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I would ride that face into the sunset
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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