How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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