I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
