it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
