Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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