you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My penis needs a shock collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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