Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize