Just cropdusted the office
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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