"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
