you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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