just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
