it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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