hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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