What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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