So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
