you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
