no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
