I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
